Louisa Wylie Boisen to Hermann B. Boisen, January 1880

Title

Louisa Wylie Boisen to Hermann B. Boisen, January 1880

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Full transcription (referenced quotes are bolded):

Louisa W. Boisen [Bloomington, Indiana] to Hermann Boisen [Bloomington, Ind.]

I feel Hermann that the only thing I can do is to take myself out of your sight. That it is so terrible a thing to “have such an object before your eyes all the time” is a dreadful thought to me and this is not the first time that you have said so. And then too a few weeks ago you said it was a burden to support me. What can I do but go? I do not want to reproach you but I am sure you will remember how much has been said and done and I have borne all without a word because I thought it was best. But—I will say no more for fear I say too much. For the present I will go over to Aunt Emma’s until some arrangement can be made. It seems better to go to her because she knows more than anyone else. And I wish to cause as little talk as possible.

            L.W.B.

Jan 25, 1880

[cont.]

I go over and have left word for Rachel that I will be there for dinner. I have borrowed money and paid Rachel. No one will know but Aunt E. why I am there.

How can this be and we still live? And what will our children do? And yet, Hermann, although you say it is my fault that things are so what could I do when I felt that you so hated the very sight of me? I see now, as you say, that it was my appearance being untidy that caused you to say it but I did not know it was so. I had just fixed my hair, and did not know any of it was hanging down my back. I put on that dress because I had no collar in my others and I hurried with my dressing because you were ahead of me and I feared you would be impatient. But even if all these things were so if you had cared to have things different, could you not have come over here to dinner and you know I would have been only too glad to find I was mistaken. I thought I would come here and then you could so easily come to me and if any thing was to be done, I thought you would consult me first, but no. Aunt E. says you have made arrangements. I only want to do what will make you happy and I suppose you feel, as I have feared so long, that in this way only you can be happy. As for me, you know that I have done worse things than what you said yesterday. But when I felt that the very sight of me was becoming so odious, I did not know what to do, for I could not hide my face under a vail all the time. No, Hermann, I have not left you. You are leaving me. You left me long ago I fear. Aunt Emma carried my message last night. If you care for me or want me and we can live with any peace together, you know how gladly I would do so. And now if you leave me, if ever you are sick, or feel that you want me and care for me come to me or send for me and I will come if possible. I love you and I always shall. I feel as if I would die from this.

Source

Theophilus Adam Wylie Family Correspondence, 1806 - 1930, (bulk 1850 - 1930), Collection 2005.003.2849, Wylie House Museum, Indiana University, Bloomington.

Date

January 25, 1880

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Citation

“Louisa Wylie Boisen to Hermann B. Boisen, January 1880,” Wylie House Exhibits, accessed March 29, 2024, https://collections.libraries.indiana.edu/wyliehouse/items/show/163.

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